Dropping a Client
As our discussion continued on telegram I thought at first to throw it out to all of us and let us consider and feel into our own boundaries and capacities around this.
But I started realising this is a course on a Sacred Model of Birth and I need to be true to the differentiation and the meaning behind this as a pillar for the course.
I realised I absolutely do not wish for any women who is supported in her birth and pregnancy by someone who has considered this course as their training for their midwifery practice – to be dropped by their so-called midwife or birth attendant.
So I leant into my “why” further so I could make more sense of my intense feelings around this.
And to deepen our understanding of a Sacred Model of Birth based on womb wisdom.
This means we make an effort to reflect, to communicate with our women and respect their womb sovereignty.
We are not learning a medical model of birth or a dentist model of care for obvious reasons.
When we deeply learn the womb wisdom way we need to have absolute faith and respect that a woman can indeed trust herself and be able to make her own choices for her own womb.
If you do not understand her actions or feel she has other hidden agendas or plans – ASK! Don’t presume and make a whole story in your head and act according to the story in your head.
Assume you know nothing and need to genuinely understand her actions or lack of actions or inquire respectfully. You can inquire firmly and voice your challenges and even your boundaries in a respectful way for her choices. We should seek to understand not exclude or punish or discipline.
We can teach with care and love. We can share our feelings around our boundaries and come up with plans that can facilitate her wishes.
We are all wise woman sisters and the way we learn the most about birth and women is by witnessing women shine as they come into their own womb space.
We know the birth will happen anyway – we are NOT THE saviour.
It takes humility to communicate – both ways. But step into the role of being the elder then and facilitate the communication with maturity.
If there is a situation, where there is a need for tertiary or specialist input – have your other team members that you can work with as an extension of your practice and care.
When I had a client with polyhydramnios I accompanied her to the gynae and we discussed and came up with a good held and respectful and appropriate care plan.
I do not want us to think or practice like doctors. I have huge issues with their protocols, autocracy and manners.
So we need to dig deeper as we end this module on Sacred Model of Birth.
- How will you communicate your boundaries?
- How can you discuss with your client when your conditions are an issue or not being met?
- Who is in your trusted team or who do you know you can reach out to so your client feels held and not dropped.
There are respectful and dynamic ways to work with difficult situations.
I thought of my own examples. Not of the births I have picked up when they have been dropped by a service provider.
The difficult situations I have had where I have had to do something hard to avoid dropping them or not wanting them to feel dropped.
The first part is practical – being true to your capacity and boundaries.
The other part is being true to a sacred service to women.
And that is why we delve deeper into a variety of models of birth, the qualities of the midwife and the roles of a midwife.
I feel as soon as you feel like the boss of your client the sacred connection is lost and for me that is utmost important.
Connection and transparency with clients – taking our ego out of the way takes energy and guts.
Having a lot of days filled with antenatal consults and births does not make you a better midwife. It makes you busier.
When we are busier, we are acting more in survival mode than out of sacred intention.
That means we focus on realigning with Sacred daily and you make time for self-care, reading and speaking to others.
The truth is we are honoured to sit down with any woman who is asking.
The truth is that birth happens without us as a Divine act from Mother Nature.
The truth is we must always remain humble servants to Birth Deity, to Mother Birth, to Sacred Goddess – as you wish to view and see it.
A woman should never feel dropped by us.
There must be a way for open and honest communication and interactions.
If a mother is feeling dropped we have added to her birth trauma.